Bathtub Blog

Blogging from my bathtub. I could get used to this. I haven't taken a long hot bath in a long time and these days I need to try anything to chill the fuck out. I've been super emotional lately. Stressed, depressed, frustrated and it hasn't been fun. Nothing I really want to get into at the moment because I'm supposed to be being MORE POSITIVE but yeah...hopefully things will start turning around soon. (starting with a new job...)

Yesterday I had the best run of my life. The best. I was really worried about it because I hadn't ran, let alone worked out in 3 days ,and I wasn't being mindful of what I was eating either but I knew that this is going to happen from time to time and I need to just get right back in it and not look back. I went to the forest preserve at 9:30 am and had an hour workout ahead of me. I ran without headphones/music again and I really am starting to love it. The first mile and a half or two miles was hard. It usually takes awhile to get loose and into a groove but once I got close to that two miles I could feel my stride come together and my body was on autopilot. I used to run and say aloud to myself "you can do this. Just. Keep going." and I would sometimes repeat that to myself. Yesterday was different. Yesterday I started saying aloud to myself "you're doing it. You. Are. Doing. It.". And the tears came again. It was the closest thing I have ever felt to a runner's high. No...It WAS runner's high. I ran the entire preserve and actually wished there had been more trail to run. Sick, right?

After my run I sat on a bench overlooking the trails. I wish I could bottle up those thoughts and feelings and have them on hand for shitty days like today. I was so proud of myself.