Deep Breath...

As I sit here, I feel like I can finally take a deep breath. For the past couple of weeks my boyfriend and I have been counting down the days until he had a tumor surgically removed from his back. The tumor itself is not fun to think about and can be quite scary (chances are that it's most likely not cancerous but we will know more in a week) but the real task at hand was getting through the surgery. To say Johnny was nervous would be an understatement. The unknown can be very scary and I don't blame him for being worried and concerned, but he did great, absolutely great and I'm so proud. I can usually keep a level head, talk to the doctors, and be the rock as best I can, but as I walked with him to the operating room doors and had to say goodbye and good luck, I quietly hid my tears. In that moment you are reminded of how lucky you are and to be thankful for the person that you have by your side through life's ups and downs. It wasn't that I was worried that something would happen or that I would never see him again...I didn't want him to be scared. I didn't want him to be in pain. And I didn't want him to feel alone.

The surgery is said and done and we can now put it behind us. And I'm sure Johnny is very happy to have had it removed as soon as possible because the doctor ended up finding another tumor underneath the muscle that he didn't know was there. He was able to get that one out as well.

After a long day and a painfully bumpy car ride home, he is on the mend and will be just fine in a couple of days. He was even feeling ok enough to tell me to go on my run yesterday afternoon. What a guy. He knows that I've been putting so much time in and it would be a good way to release some of the built up stress of the week. After I checked and double checked that he would be fine on his own, I went to my favorite forest preserve to run. I hadn't been able to run there for a month or so because it closes at dusk so I was happy to be back on the trail.

I have been reading some running magazine lately and numerous articles have suggested running without music or headphones so you can really listen to the rhythm of your steps and pay closer attention to your breathing, etc so I decided to give it a chance. I didn't listen to any music for the first 30 minutes and then I put on some instrumental songs from Rudy (don't laugh) for the last 15-20 minutes when I really needed the extra motivation.

Tucking away my headphones and simply being alone with my thoughts made such a difference. I really enjoyed running along the beautiful autumn trails in silence and taking a little bit of time to give thanks.