Uh Oh?

I absolutely hate this time of the week.  Sunday night, getting ready for bed, thinking about Monday and how much it's going to BLOW when that alarm goes off at 6 am (ok...and 6:25) and it's time to go back to work.  That has not changed in the past 4 weeks.  But what HAS changed in the past 4 weeks is how I am starting to look at food.  Emphasis on "starting".  As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I had a really good week this week.  I ate well and I worked my ass off and it paid off.  I'm down another 4.5 lbs!!!  Yep...and then comes Sunday.  Since yesterday I weighed in and I worked out I decided that I deserved to slack off a little bit today.  It started with McDonald's breakfast.  1.5 breakfast sammies, a hashbrown and a peppermint mocha (with skim milk because I was obviously counting calories!)  I'd also like to note here that it wasn't even that good.  Just saying.  But did it stop me from eating it? Hell no.  Then a few hours later I had some chips and guacamole.  Then a couple hours after that I had a homemade meatball sandwich, baked potato and salad for dinner.  Then a few hours after that a piece of cheese pizza.  Followed by some more chips and guacamole.  And here you have me: bloated, gassy, ashamed and full of regret.  I spent too many days over the past 28 years eating like I did today and where did it get me?  Unhappy and very overweight.  And it wasn't even worth it.  That's all I keep thinking.  It wasn't like I was eating at some five star, once in a lifetime restaurant in Europe. McDonald's and a meatball sandwich for cryin' out loud!!!  I even said to my boyfriend at one point post gluttony, "I don't miss feeling like this after I've eaten".  And that's the truth.  I hate it.  It's a miserable feeling that sits with you for hours after you've filled your body with crap.  Nothing compared to that feeling I had when I ran 5 miles this week.  I know I still have 71 lbs to go but I can FEEL the changes in my body as I've been running this week and that feeling is one of the best I have ever felt.  Even with the 70+ lbs of extra weight I have felt stronger and leaner and...confident.  And eating like an asshole today just sucks.  Could I have indulged in one thing today? Sure.  But I didn't need to go bat shit crazy the whole day because now I'm going to be spending the next 2-3 days working off ONE DAY of eating instead of adding to my current 16 lb weight loss.  Frus-trat-ing.

Back at it tomorrow and determined to have another successful week.  If Da Bears could recover today and pull out a 1 pt victory then I sure as hell can too!!  Go Bears!